Having Fun Yet?
This section is always in need of new content and would love to have original, funny things written by you. Email us with your contributions. These are the jokes, folks!
Attention: A sense of humor is required. These are jokes and absolutely no malice is intended. We love Bruce, Cybill and Glenn, but are just having fun. Any one offended should send complaints to straight-to-the-trash@DavidandMaddie.com
A Top Ten List by Cindy K, Site Webmaster
Top Ten Reasons Why There's Been No Moonlighting Reunion Movie Yet:
10. Everyone is spending so much time at BruceWillis.com that they forgot all about it.
9. It isn't the last minute yet, so Glenn hasn't started the script.
8. ABC wouldn't know what to do with a top ten show or special.
7. Cybill is pregnant with twins...no wait, we've used that excuse before!
6. Bruce won't come out of his trailer until he finishes downloading and installing the latest version of Yahoo! Messenger.
5. We have no idea, but we can use the cost of the music rights as an excuse.
4. The cast and crew have gotten too rich off residual checks for the DVD's.... Gotcha! April Fools!!
3. ABC/Disney sold the rights to Anchor Bay. (Those who know about the tribulations of the DVD campaign will think this is hilarious; the rest will scratch their head.)
2. Cybill did such a convincing job playing Martha Stewart, that Martha Stewart has hired her to take her place in the pokey.
AND THE NUMBER ONE REASON THERE HAS BEEN NO "MOONLIGHTING" REUNION MOVIE YET:
1. They are waiting for Bruce Willis to regrow hair.
Another Top Ten List by Cindy K, Site Webmaster
TOP TEN REASONS Glenn Caron selected "Be My Baby" as the song Maddie and David first made love to:
Note: This one may be harder for the ML novice to understand since it is full of inside jokes.
10) Other than Motown hits, it was the only record he owned.
9) It has this driving, sexy beat which obscures the bedroom dialogue rather nicely. :(
8) It fit perfectly on the show since the lines repeat a lot.
7) "I Want Your Sex" had not been written yet.
6) Michael Jackson wanted too much money for the use of a Beatles song.
5) There had been no song written with the sentiment, "I Hate You. Let's Screw."
4) He was trying to save "That's Why the Lady is a Tramp" for the fourth season.
3) He remembered how well it had worked in a scene over on Remington Steele.
2) He got it for cheap since Phil Spector was trying to raise money for his future defense fund.
AND THE NUMBER ONE REASON WHY GLENN CARON SELECTED "BE MY BABY" AS THE SONG MADDIE AND DAVID FIRST MADE LOVE TO:
1) Cybill wanted Etta James; Bruce wanted Zeppelin.
Yet Another Top Ten List by Cindy K, Site Webmaster
The TOP TEN Best things about having this "Moonlighting" Fan site:
10. Getting so much site email that it overshadows the Viagra spam in our mailboxes.
9. Weight loss results due to lack of sleep and worrying about the escalating hosting bills.
8. It's a great excuse to not do laundry, clean the house or run errands.
7. Everywhere we look in our homes there is Bruce & Cybill, Cybill & Bruce.
6. Hilariously entertaining trying to think up clever euphemisms for "hot and horny."
5. Don't have to worry about posting spoilers since there have been no new episodes in over 14 years.
4. It offers a reasonable explanation that our families will accept for why we spend hours in the BruceWillis.com Fan Forum.
3. Our significant others are happy as constant sexual tension = pay dirt in the bedroom.
2. Justifies our eBay addiction as a quest for content.
AND THE NUMBER ONE BEST THING ABOUT HAVING THIS "MOONLIGHTING" FAN SITE:
1. Spending hours doing video captures, AKA "Tongue Patrol".
A Top Ten List by Stephanie Manfredi
Top Ten Reasons Why Moonlighting Had to Be Cancelled:
10. ABC could not afford to add another 1.6 million to its budget for Maddie's hairspray.
9. Ideas for episodes such as "I am Curious...Agnes" were not going over well.
8. Repetitive underwear jokes were making more money for Fruit of the Loom than ABC.
7. A detective agency can only take so many cases where the client is the murderer before someone investigates the agency.
6. The question "Where is the relationship going?" became less important to many than "Where is Bruce's hairline going?"
5. Rather than have to watch David and Maddie be "pals," fans were requesting Bert and Agnes episodes.
4. The writers ran out of ways to make David and Maddie act out of character.
3. The show's fifth season was being used by the LAPD to get confessions out of hardened criminals.
2. Death threats for a woman named Annie kept coming to executives offices.
AND THE NUMBER ONE REASON THAT "MOONLIGHTING" HAD TO BE CANCELLED:
1. The pod-people playing David and Maddie would not renew their contracts.
A Top Ten List by Cindy K.
Top Ten signs you have spent waaaay too much time watching Moonlighting episodes:
10. You find yourself turning to comment to the camera and then realize there isn't one.
9. Now when you watch the final scene of I am Curious....Maddie, what excites you the most is the thread count of Maddie's sheets.
8. You recently lobbied in Washington to make Glenn Caron's birthday a federal holiday.
7. To you, nothing says I love you like doors slamming.
6. You find yourself saying, "Hey the fifth season episodes are actually starting to make sense!"
5. You now know which character is Simmons, which is O'Neill, and which is Jergenson.
4. When you call an office to make an appointment, you are disappointed when the receptionist answers the phone with "Hello. May I help you?"
3. You have convinced yourself that Reagan is still President, that ABC is one of the top rated networks, and that Bruce Willis has hair.
2. You watch the West Wing and think "Boy, these people talk too slow!"
And the number one sign you have spent waaaay too much time watching Moonlighting episodes:
1. You look forward to messy, loud fights with your mate thinking, "Foreplay!"
Yet another Top Ten List by Cindy K
Top 10 List of considered but rejected names for the TV Series "Moonlighting."
10. A Dick and A Chick
9. Who's the Boss?
7. Sex and the Witty
6. P.I. CSI (P.U.!!)
5. If It's Tuesday, This Must be a Rerun
2. Bruce Almighty
AND THE NUMBER ONE CONSIDERED BUT REJECTED NAME FOR THE TV SERIES "MOONLIGHTING":
1. Star Wars
The Original Top Ten List by Cindy K
Top 10 Reasons why Maddie Hayes should marry David Addison
10.She heard you get a tax credit for taking in stray animals.
9. So she can get a volume discount at her shrink's office.
8. To perform community service by making the streets of L.A. safe again for her fellow women.
7. He has several things that she lacks--a good bookie, a great pornography collection, season tickets to celebrity mud wrestling, and an endless supply of naughty knock-knock jokes.
6. It beats having oral surgery, a barium enema, and blind dates...but not by much!
5. Both Howard Stern and Larry Flynt were already taken.
4. Because being mentally healthy and financially stable is highly overrated.
3. Raising a child can be a rewarding experience, and this way she can experience it without the expense of adoption or the discomfort of childbirth.
2. It's cheaper than having to give him a raise.
AND THE NUMBER ONE REASON WHY MADDIE HAYES SHOULD MARRY DAVID ADDISON:
1. He only needs Viagra around as the punchline in all his best jokes.
A Top Ten List by Sue
Top 10 Reasons to Still Watch "Moonlighting"
10. To learn the art of rhyme from Agnes Dipesto.
9. It's probably the only time you're going to see Cybill Shepherd sing with the Temptations.
8. To see Bruce Willis play opposite a woman approximating his own age.
7. To see Orson Welles' last appearance on film.
6. Because nobody banters better than Maddie and David.
5. To see sexual frustration, sexual tension and sexual innuendo elevated to an art form.
4. To relive those fabulous big shoulders and big hairstyles of the eighties.
3. The last scene of "I Am Curious Maddie".
2. The kiss in "Witness for the Execution", the kiss in "Maddie's Turn to Cry" and the kissing/T-shirt ripping scene in "Tracks of My Tears".
AND THE NUMBER ONE REASON TO STILL WATCH MOONLIGHTING:
1. Bruce Willis with hair.
A Top Ten List by Lizzie
Top Ten Reasons why Maddie and David are still sharing a car after five seasons.
10. Blue Moon can't justify the expense of a second company car. (i.e. Maddie's cheap.)
9. David feels that an investment in rare blues recordings will only increase in value, and the expense of a car will take away from his disposable income. (i.e.David's cheap.)
8. The producers at ABC feel that the story continuity … oh who are we kidding ...ABC is cheap.
7. Glenn refused to write fight scenes about which car they were taking.
6. The only way to make sure that Maddie and David would get to the same location at the same time.
5. Meets the US PSA requirements to give them a sorely needed tax deduction. (Buckle Up America.)
4. BMW was a sponsor.
3. Satisfies the clause in Maddie and David's contract to have mirrors no less than 10 inches from their face at all times.
2. The best way to get Maddie and David to share the same FRAME.
AND THE NUMBER ONE REASON WHY MADDIE AND DAVID ARE STILL SHARING A CAR AFTER FIVE SEASONS.
1. It is easier to read from the NEW "WET INK" PAGES when they are pasted to the dash.
Another Top Ten List by Lizzie
Top Ten guest stars we'd like to see on Moonlighting
10. Laura Holt and Remington Steele
9. The Professor and MaryAnne
8. Ethel and Fred Mertz
7. Joey Tribiani and Phoebe Buffay
6. Diane Chambers and Sam Malone
5. Captain Steubing and Julie McCoy
4. Jack "Just Jack" McFarland and Karen Walker
3. Alice and Ralph Kramden
2. Dana Scully and Fox Mulder
AND THE NUMBER ONE GUEST STARS WE WOULD MOST LIKE TO SEE ON "MOONLIGHTING"
1. Bruce Willis and Cybill Shepherd
Yet Another Top Ten List by Lizzie
Top Ten Reasons why there will never be a Moonlighting Reunion
10. Can't see Maddie sticking her face in a bunch of worms for ratings.
9.There would need to be a global conspiracy to conceal the existence of extra terrestrials or at least producers.
8.Private Detectives are Sooo Passe.
7. David would demand that Maddie be recast with someone more his age -- say Britney Spears.
6. Blue Moon would need to go public - but the NO WORK and PAY sent them directly to Penny Stocks.
5. Bert and McGuillicuddy will need to be rewritten as homosexual - right … that'll happen.
4. Maddie would never sit still for being called "Blondie by Preference by Loreal #8."
3. No Hair = No hair jokes.
2. Maddie and David can't talk that fast anymore.
AND THE NUMBER ONE REASON WHY THERE WILL NEVER BE A MOONLIGHTING REUNION … drum roll please
1. ABC can't afford $20 million an episode for "Mr. Moonlighting."
And One Last Top Ten List by Lizzie
Top Ten Reasons why THE FANS and/or THE CAST deserve a Moonlighting Reunion
10. Fans who've hung in for 16 years deserve anything they ask for.
9. There is so much dreck on TV these days that even a BAD episode of Moonlighting would be appreciated.
8. Cybill needs a gig. … so does Allyce and Curtis … and … and … and
7. Netizens need a new Forum Topic to debate - respectfully.
6. Might bring the first five seasons to DVD - ok ok … at least the first four.
5. To capitalize on the Moonlighting licensing rights not around in 1989: T-Shirts, Mugs, Lunch Boxes, Show hats etc. etc.
4. The Public needs to know: HOW LOW CAN THEY GO … before going to cable.
3. Bruce needs some good dialogue to remind him/and the fans that he CAN act.
2. Virtual Pay sucks … we want real pay, residuals and a piece of the back end.
AND THE NUMBER ONE REASON WHY THE FANS AND/OR THE CAST DESERVE A MOONLIGHTING REUNION
1. Cybill Shepherd and Bruce Willis were heavily invested in Enron.
A Top Ten List by Kelli
Top Ten Reasons why "Moonlighting" wouldn't have made it in the 90s (unfortunately)
10. They don't make "One-Hit Wonder" music like they used to.
9. Could you even think of Maddie being in the dark, conservative colors of the 90s?
8. David looks better in Ray Bans than Oakleys.
7. "Moonlighting", "Remington Steele", "Miami Vice", "Scarecrow and Mrs. King", "Murder She Wrote", etc.--did any detective series make it out of the 80s?
6. They couldn't blame Maddie's big hair on it being the style anymore.
5. They didn't carry the "Miami Vice Look" anymore.
4. They discontinued BMW's 6 series in the late 80s.
3. They were running out of stars to get pregnant.
2. A couple in their 30s that have not married each other yet (even out of fear of "sleeping alone" for the rest of their lives) is pushing it. A couple in their 40s that have not married each other yet would have been unbelievable.
AND THE NUMBER ONE REASON "MOONLIGHTING" WOULDN'T HAVE MADE IT IN THE 90S (UNFORTUNATELY)…
1. If it was still on, we couldn't spend time writing hundreds of our own endings-FAN FICTION!!!!
Cartoon by Katie Maratta that appeared in her syndicated "Silent Pictures" comic panel in the Los Angeles Times Calendar Section.
From the September 1989 issue of MAD Magazine
Found on the Moonlighting Discussion Mail List:
Subject: [ML] ever notice Date: Fri, 14 Jun 2002 14:38:46 EDT From: Darla Reply-To: Moonlighting Discussion List
This is not meant to violate or infringe on any copyrights.