Moonlighting With
Fans' Captions for 2003
For November & December 2003
Write Your Own Caption!
  • By Cindy K, Webmaster: David--"Maddie, move your purse, would ya? You're blocking the view."
  • By Jeff A: David--"Hey Blondie Blonde. Definitely the right attitude!!"
  • By Mary: David--"Days like this, I sure love my job."
  • By Chris: David--"Now this is what I call a scenic route."
  • By Elliot: David--"I warned you, didn't I? Don't rub viagra on your legs."
  • By Sandy: David--"A tisket, a tasket, Maddie in a basket."
  • By Anon: David--"I see England, I see France, I see someone's underpants."
  • By Mary: David--"Wanna see if we can fit two in that cart?"
  • By Chris: Maddie--"David! Stop drooling and keep pushing."
  • By Steph: David--"Laying in there? Like that? You must be waiting for an incoming package!"
  • By Millertime: David--"hmmm, something is familiar about this, you just lying there with your legs in the air and me doing all the pushing."
  • By Fred: Maddie--"David, why do I have to do all the legwork on this case?" David--"Huh? Did you say something? I couldn't tell since all the blood just rushed from my head to some place south of the border, if you know what I mean."
  • By Mark: David--"I don't know why you're bitching at me. You're the one who decided not to wear underwear this morning."
  • By Mark: David--"Man, where is my Poloroid when I need it!"
  • By jbdean: David--"I don't understand the problem. I love workin' in the mail room!"
  • By jbdean: Maddie--"David! When I asked you to do the laundry, I expected you to wait until I got undressed!
  • By jbdean: David--"Trust me, Maddie. Disneyland fans are gonna' love this new ride!"
For October 2003
Write Your Own Caption!
  • By Cindy K.: Webmaster: David--"C'mere, baby. Can't you tell I'm feeling rather "horny."
  • By Jeff A: David--"Think the censors will get me if I tell you that I have something here that needs blowing?"
  • By Mary: Maddie--"Promise me you'll never blow that horn again, the sound man is threatening to quit."
  • By Chris: Maddie--"Don't laugh at my shoes--I didn't laugh at your horn playing."
  • By Elliot: David--"As a matter of fact, no, I don't want to see what you stepped in."
  • By Sandy: David--"Sneakers for sneakin'. I like that."
  • By Sandy: David--"Forget about your shoes........I like looking down your dress!"
  • By Anon: David--"Well, the shoes aren't so bad, but you know I prefer my women barefoot and pregnant."
  • By Mary: Maddie--"Let's dance, but don't step on my blue suede shoes."
  • By Chris: David--"You likey your Nikes?"
  • By Steph: Maddie--"Should I tell him 'bees be' in this flower? Nah..."
  • By Millertime: Maddie--"Hey, why don't you take your lips off that horn and use them on me."
  • By Fred: Maddie--"Can you really play that thing?" David--"What thing are you referring to?" Maddie--"That. That horn thing. Can you blow it?" David--"Oh, so that's how you play it. I kept looking for a bulb to squeeze, but couldn't find one."
  • By jdbean: David--"I'm sorry Maddie. But in those shoes, all I can play is taps.
  • By jdbean: Maddie--"And you wanted to hire an organ grinder and a monkey!"
  • By jdbean: David--"I'm not saying the shoes are ugly but even my horn's gone limp!"

For Sept 2003
Write Your Own Caption!
  • By Cindy K, Webmaster: David--"Look, Maddie! It's Justin Guarini from American Idol. Guess he's pissed off cause we voted for Kelly."
  • By Cindy K, Webmaster: David--"Hey Blondie, tell your brother I'll marry you, and he can put away that gun now!"
  • By jbdean: David--"Ok, buddy. You win! You do have the BIGGER gun. (To Maddie: "Let's hope he's shootin' blanks!")
  • By jbdean: David--"I've heard of shotgun weddings, but shotgun foreplay? That's going a bit too far!"
  • By jbdean, David--"You win! We'll let you watch!"
  • By Ruth A: David--"Hey, buddy. Beat it! I think the NRA meeting is over in the next house."
  • By Jeff A: David--"Let me guess. Your Mom told you to come in here and tell us to stop jumping on the bed."
  • By Russ: David--"Hey man, put that thing away. It wasn't us that removed those tags from the pillows."
  • By Chris: David--"Boy, dude. Your timing is the pits. In just five more minutes, I would have had her in this bed with me but NOOOOO, you show up pointing that thing. I gotta tell ya, it really kills the mood."
  • By Cindy K: David--"Now, now. Put that down. There is no reason to get mad. I bet you can get a refund on your Tony Home Permanent"
  • By Renee: David--"Maddie, I think this is a stickup. You wanna come over her; reach into my pants pocket and take out my wallet and all my money. And do it nice and slow, please."
  • By Mary: David--"Look man. You need to put that gun away. I would have let you go first, if you would have just asked nicely."
  • By Dr. Doug: David--"Hey, I think you are on the wrong set, buddy. They are shooting "The Beverly Hillbillies" across the lot."
  • By Kelly R: David--"So Maddie, I guess this means that 'rabbit test' came back positive and your Dad has shown up here to break the news to me, huh?"
  • By Elliot: David--"I swear we only did it ten times!"
For August 2003
Write Your Own Caption!
  • By Cindy K, Webmaster: David--"Baby, who cares if you dance like a dork--all I am looking at is how high that slit is on your skirt and how low your top goes."
  • By jbdean: David--"And they said guys in white socks never get the dames!"
  • By jbdean: Maddie--"David! I told you, those are not there to help you lead!"
  • By jbdean: David--"Told ya' there's nothing like a game of Twister to break the ice!"
  • By Ruth A: Maddie--"You are in big trouble, buster! I saw how you were dancing with that other woman earlier!"
  • By Jeff A: David--"MMMM, yeah, Maddie. Hold it right there. This is really starting to feel good."
  • By Russ: David--"Maddie, I really like this dream. I also really like what you are wearing. How come you never dress like this in real life?"
  • By Lee W: Maddie--"David!!! Just what do you think you are doing back there? This is supposed to be a sexy dance scene...not a dancing sex scene!!"
  • By Renee: David--"You put your left foot in, you put your right foot out. You put your hips right here and you shake them all about..."
  • By Mary: Maddie--"Yes, David this is my dream fantasy...and that is definitely NOT just a big ole gun you have in your pocket."
  • By Dr. Doug: David--"Hey, lady. You keep shaking your hips like that, it's liable to cause a commotion in my ocean."
  • By Kelly R: Maddie--"Sure we can dance. Just as long as you don't try to sing again!"

For July 2003
Write Your Own Caption!
  • By Cindy K, Webmaster: David--"I never thought I'd say this but, baby, hold your horses--let's wait until we get home before you rip my clothes off, ok?"
  • By Jeff A: Maddie--"I thought I told you that I hated that tie!"
  • By Ruth A: David--"You know, I'm betting that me getting in the car would work a lot better if we opened that door first."
  • By Connie J: David--"Now, now Maddie. Calm down. I didn't know that was your cousin. And I never really had sex with her, I only pretended to to make you jealous. I can see it worked!"
  • By Lou: David--"Ok Maddie, you can let go of me now. I promise to stop being a back seat driver."
  • By Renee: David--"Ok, ok. So I forgot to take the trash out! Don't you think you are over-reacting just a bit?"
  • By Linda: David--"Yeah baby! I like how you think. Let's just grab each other and make love right here in the car!"
  • By Russ: David--"All right! You've made your point. You get to drive now. "
  • By Olivia: David--"Let me guess. Someone has PMS."
  • By jbdean: DAVID--"Yeah, I've heard of the *ties* that bond ... but if you don't let go and drive, we're gonna' have one helluva accident!"
For June 2003
Write Your Own Caption!
  • By Cindy K, Webmaster: David (who is driving): "What's a matter? Is my blue moon girl feeling a bit green??
  • By Sandy: Maddie--"David, please put your shoes back on!"
  • By Jeff A: Maddie--"Ohhhh! Would someone please fire craft services now!"
  • By Ruth A: David--"I told you not to eat DiPesto's pesto...but did you listen? Nooooo, you did not. Now look at you."
  • By Connie J: Maddie shows her excitement at the news that her cousin Annie is coming back for a visit.
  • By Lou: David (off camera)--"Fine. I get the point. You hate my singing."
  • By Renee: Maddie--"And this is what I think of those season five episodes!"
  • By Linda: David--"Sweetheart, I hope the reason you are feeling so pukey is because of something you ate; not something that's late!"
  • By Russ: Maddie--"Oh no! I think I may be violently ill. I am carrying my taupe handbag, and it just does not go with these shoes."
  • By jbdean: DAVID--"Not to worry, Maddie. With cazabos like yours, nobody's gonna' even notice the spinach on your teeth!"

For May 2003
Write Your Own Caption!
  • By Cindy K, Webmaster: Maddie--"David, I hope you thought to bring protection." David--"Protection? What for? You don't live in a high crime area."
  • By Lee W: Maddie--"Addison! Is this what you meant when you told me that tonight we were going to have to do undercover work?"
  • By Wendy M: Maddie--"Well at least this is one occasion that I don't have to worry about what I should wear!"
  • By Ruth A: Maddie--"I should have known! All that fighting and slapping stuff really turns you on, doesn't it."
  • By Jeff A: Maddie--"David, I think you should open your eyes now. You are not going to want to miss what happens next!"
  • By jbdean: Maddie--"David! Stop that! Gimme' back my gum!"
  • By Ruthie: Maddie--"A clue, David. A clue. I said what we needed was a CLUE, not a SCREW."
  • By Connie J: Maddie--"I think I like your idea of what to do after hours, although I would have liked it better if I had at least gotten an expensive dinner out of it."
  • By Charlie D: David--"Open your mouth and close your eyes, and you will get a big surprise!"
  • By Lynn M: Maddie--"It is certainly about time! I was beginning to think we weren't EVER going to end up here."
  • By John M: Maddie--"So I guess my edible undies were a big hit, huh?"
  • By Judy G: David--"How about I pull this sheet down and you flash the camera? That should give those censors a coronary!"
  • By Rueben: Agnes DiPesto (while answering the phone at the office): "Thank you for calling, but you're out of luck. They are out of the office so with me you are stuck. I can't interrupt them, because that would suck. They stepped over to Miss Hayes' for a major f---."
  • By Lou: David--"Now about that raise I asked for..."
  • By Sandy: David--"Baby, I love you." (thinking to himself: if you only knew - I've loved you from the moment we met). Maddie--"I know......I love you, too." (thinking to herself: if you only knew - I've loved you from the moment we met).
  • By Toni: David--"Whadda' ya' know! You really are a blonde!!"
For Apr 2003
Write Your Own Caption!
  • By Cindy K, Webmaster: Baptista-- "I don't knowst about you guys, but these breeches feelest like they havest leeches!"
  • By Lee W: "Good thing we are wearing these wigs and costumes. Maybe our families won't recognize us, and we'll never have to tell them about all this."
  • By Wendy M: Baptista--"Ok, now explain to me one more time why a detective show set in 1980's California would want us to look and talk like this."
  • By Ruth & Jeff A: The Announcer--"Wait! Don't turn that channel. You DO have it on ABC and this is Moonlighting, even though it looks like Masterpiece Theater. I repeat, this is ABC, not PBS. DO NOT change the channel."
  • By jbdean: David--"Me thinkest something is irregular here and tis more than just our pantyhose!"
  • By Ruthie: Baptista--"Hey, I've got an idea! Let's go find the costume designer and beat the crap out of him."
  • By Charlie D: Baptista--"Listen up guys. Who wants to getteth some action on tomorrow night's sword fight?"
  • By Lynn M: Baptista--"You better be right about that Emmy award stuff, otherwise I am going to kicketh all of your asses for making me dresseth like this and talketh like this."
  • By John M: Petruchio--"Don't look now, but I think that looks like Paul Revere and the Raiders over there behind you."
  • By Chris: David--"Who wants to join me as I go crash the keg party over at Kenneth Branagh's house?"
  • By Judy G: Petruchio--"How about we just forget about the women and spend the rest of the episode over in the tavern?"
  • By Reuben: Baptista--"Guys, this is really important. Does this cloak maketh my ass look too big?"
  • By Colleen M: Baptista--"Hey! I thought it was my turn to get to wear that prissy hat!
  • By Toni: Baptista--"Prestigious Shakespearan part my ass! Tomorrow I fire my agent!!

For Mar 2003
Write Your Own Caption!
  • By Cindy K, Webmaster: Bert--"Can you believe this jacket? Wait until I get my hands on that costume designer!!"
  • By Debbie D: David--"Let me guess...You're trying out for Siegfried and Roy?"
  • By Lee W: David--"Someone go call Mr. Blackwell. I think I found a candidate for his worst dressed list!"
  • By Chris D: David--"It's ok Bert. You don't have to worry. No one will ever see you looking like this. Those cameras aren't rolling."
  • By Brad S: While the cast waits for the lastest script revision, Curtis & Bruce discuss which one of them is probably going to have to go out and make a fool of themselves. The crew anxiously awaits the outcome, as most of them have money on Curtis.
  • By Tanya R: David--"Hey Bert, Some dame is on the phone for you and wants to talk to you about your snakeskin jacket. Says her name is PETA, and she doesn't sound too happy"
  • By Fred B: David--"Bert, I don't know how to break this to you, but the leopard look went out a decade or so back with disco."
  • By Ty R: David--"Keep dressing like that and everyone is gonna think you're a pimp. By the way, where's the hookers?"
  • By jbdean: DAVID (To Bert)--"I don't really see a problem with the jacket. But the bra and panties underneath have got to go!"
For Feb 2003
Write Your Own Caption!
  • By Cindy K, Webmaster: David-- "If I'd known you were going to get this excited over a craps table, I would've put one in our bedroom!"
  • By Debbie D: Maddie-- "David--"Wow, Maddie! I always told myself if I hung around you long enough, I just might get lucky...and right now if I got any luckier, they'd have to put us in porn."
  • By Lee W: Maddie--"I am so glad you talked me out of playing Old Maid instead of this"
  • By Chris D: Maddie--"WOW! WOW! WOW!" David--"You can say that again!" Maddie--"Ok. WOW! WOW! WOW!"
  • By Brad S: Maddie--"Are we hot! Or are we Hot!! I can't believe this!" David--"You think this is hot?? Wait til I get you home."
  • By Tanya R: David--"So all it takes to impress you is to win $50,000? Boy, are you a cheap date!"
  • By TY R: Maddie--"Keep smiling, Addison. Cause this is the only kind of lucky you are going to get tonight!"
  • By Fred B: Maddie--"Oh David! This must be the luckiest night of my life." David--"Mine too, sweetheart. It's just you, me, that pile of money and a kingsize bed waiting upstairs for you to show me more of your winning ways."
  • By jbdean: DAVID--"Oooh, Maddie, that wasn't exactly what I meant when I told you, 'Let 'er ride."

For Jan 2003
Write Your Own Caption!
  • By Cindy K, Webmaster: David--"I really like aggressive women, Maddie. But I have to tell you and am not a big fan of your idea of foreplay."
  • By Lori S: David--"Was it something I said?"
  • By Steve H: Maddie--"DAVID ADDISON! There is no way we're putting a web cam in our bedroom for this website!"
  • By Wendy M: David--"Ok, Ok. So I guess you didn't appreciate my gift of edible underwear."
  • By Lee W: David--"Can I offer you a piece of constructive criticism? Lady, your technique of handling employee conflict SUCKS!"
  • By Paul M: David--"Hey, I have a better idea. Why I don't I rip YOUR shirt off instead."
  • By Debbie D: Maddie--"ADDISON!! Stop mocking me and acting like such a chauvinist." David--"You really want me to do that? Won't people stop watching and we get cancelled?"

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